Thursday, December 3, 2009

it's been a long while.

things you should know-
1. I just quit my job about 3 minutes ago over the phone, it took me like an hour to work myself up to do it. I balmed it on school work
2. EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER!
3. I have one week of shitty school left D:
4. I am going ash blonde either next thursday or friday
5. I am going to spend all summer in bed watching korean and
japanese dramas and swoon over the boys
6. I am going to come back next year with wicked long curly hair,
skinny minnie and pale pale skin :D
HAHHAHA!
I feel relieved and shocked still I think
I'm usually too chicken to quit stuff.
I hope my boss doesn't hate me, ex-boss

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

This hot weather is shitting me off!
*angryface*

School is gay.
Friends are boring.
Exams are coming up.
Hot boys just don't exist.

All week I've been meaning to go for a jog at 5am
because apparently that makes you happy.
So I've been setting my ipod to go off at 5am,
but when it does I end up turning it off an going back to bed.
I kind of suck at making commitments.

The art exhibtion is up, quite a lot of my work is in there.
So I can't wait to see it tomorrow night with mother.

The only thing exciting me at the moment is river cruise next week
but that's only because Sarah and I are getting a crapload of energy shots and No-Doz pills.

Oh yeah, Fine Art classes make me happy too!
Mr MacNeil is awesome fun and he never gets angry when we go off our heads.

I better get less grumpy and jump back into happy mode soon!
As soon as this heat and the sun go away....

Oh, Halloween was brilliant, we accidentally broke into someone's house.
Got chased by two midgets.
Got stalked by a taxi.
Everyone got glowstick juice in their eyes, so half of use were blind and the strobe light didn't help either.
But brilliant fun.

Friday, October 30, 2009

so I'm sitting here,
'Coin Laundry' by Lisa Mitchell playing loudly
window open, cool breeze hitting me
painting to my heart's content.

Today was kind of a shitty day,
shitty days have been rare lately but they suck
woke up grumpy and then everything went downhill from there
but I'm okay now.

Party tomorrow, not even the slightest bit excited.
For Halloween, I'm going to be a giant cigarette box.

Halloween costume nearly done, then onto my river cruise dress.
Need to sew the tutu onto the corset. Hopefully it looks good
*crosses fingers*

Does age really matter in love?
Is it acceptable for 15 yr olds to be going out with 25 yr olds?
Does it really matter what's acceptable?
Recently on the news, this 44yr old man was in love with a 95yr old woman.
That's something.

I'm hoping for cool, happy days again please
Beautiful by Eminem is an amazing song.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Things To Do:

- Take a shower in the next 15 minutes
- Finish baking my carrot cake for school tomorrow
- Find a costume for Halloween Party
- Start jam sessions with Luke again, who happens to be an ace bassist and guitarist
- Make costumes for photography/graphic design project
- Find location for photoshoot
- Buy polaroid film for shoot
- Get extensions again
- FIX UP DRESS FOR RIVER CRUISE
- BUY TICKETS FOR RIVER CRUISE

Oh, it is a small world.
I went on arts camp a while back and met this Perth actor,
Jeffrey Jay Fowler.
Only the most gorgeous man in the world.
(That guy in the HBF ads, who has on the glasses)
AND IT TURNS OUT HE IS FRIENDS WITH MY NEW ART TEACHER!
And my art teacher (Mr. MacNeil), well his girlfriend's younger sister
was the arts camp coordinator!

HHAHAHA!
Anyway, Jeffrey is gay D:
But I really just want to get to know him and stuff :D
*crosses fingers*

Pretty happy with life at the moment.
Super easy week.
Year 12's all gone. More then half Year 10's gone to camp.
I only have about 6 people in each of my classes left.
So we do basically nothing.



OH,
Mother unit found ciggarettes in my room.
She didn't even yell at me :)

Friday, October 16, 2009

I need adventure fast!

first week of school gone by.
nothing exciting happened.
got sent down to admin to remove my makeup today along with half of my math class.

Put pink in my hair.
Got addicted to the song 'Meet Me Halfway'
Downloading The Smiths again because I love them so
Work tomorrow D:


BUT!
Seeing Final Destination in 3D tomorrow night
then dinner at Fast Eddy's for Toby's birthday
So so so many people are coming, word spread around so we're expecting most of the year tens :/
meaning we won't get a table probably D:
but hoping to see Brodie who works at Gloria Jeans ;D
*fingers crossed*

It has been so hot lately
I don't want a tan!

'hang the DJ, hang the DJ'

Thursday, October 8, 2009

so I guess it's been a while.

Wednesday, went to see 500 Days of Summer.
Fun day. Started off with breakfast at Fast Eddy's with Mikayla + milkshakes.
Walked back to galleria, met up with Luke and Alex.
Then we found Kane + met Alex's friends Connor and Joel.

Movie was okay...
Joel fell asleep and they drew on his face with eyeliner.
Got yelled at for talking too loud in the movie.

Mikayla and I ran away from everone afterwards.
The guys met up with Angela.
Got these two peach lace dress things, absolutely in love with them.

AND
there was this guy.
His name is Brodie and he works at Gloria Jeans.
The first time we went there, he smiled at me
and put extra chocolate dust on my hot chocolate :D

The second time he smiled again :D
And then we sat down at lunch and Kane went over and asked how old he was for me.
And then he looked over and smiled.
And Kane said he looked really happy.
He's 19.

Then the guys dragged me back over,
and asked for his number and he said he was taken.
And that was pretty embarassing.
So, then I ordered something to stop the weirdness,
and I couldn't look at him but he was smiling at me.
And I swear I had gone really really red.

And that's it.

And Luke,
EW!

He and I used to be like best friends but then he told me he had a crush on me
and I hate hate hate it when guys do that.
So we haven't talked for about 4 months and he kept trying to hug me and put his arm around me.
I kept dodging and walking off.
But he still didn't get the message, afterwards he said 'We should catch up again?'

UGH!
I was thinking
'FUCKING IDIOT! I just spent the entire day ignoring, dodging you, arguing with everything you say & you still want to hang out?!?!?'
And all day he kept asking people to buy him food and looking at people's food as they were eating.
I HATE BOYS WHO SCAB OFF GIRLS + BIG EGOS!

Then Kane bought a drink for Mikayla and Luke just took it and drank it all.
Stupid poor, ugly, fat boy.

Other then that good day :)
Dinner at Mikayla's, her mum is so cute!

I want to change my hair again or maybe just something about my appearance.
I want to dye my hair an ash blonde.
So it's like grayish.

All I have to say for now.
Oh, I think I'm moving schools.
I don't know if this is good or bad.
I'm just starting to get the hang of everything and life is good.
Will this change be for better or worse?
Hmmm....

Good night blog.

Monday, October 5, 2009

best thing in the world :D

lying in bed
eating almond nougats
drinking affogato
texting my best friend about waffles and ice cream

haahah
about City Boy, getting over it was ehh
but then he got a really stupid haircut, so I feel all better now

PLAN FOR WEDS:
seeing 500 Days of Summer
with the best friend, AAREX who is amazingly funny + Luke who is this guy I used to be biffles with but he was kinda clingy and weird and liked me
which freaks me out!

I'm so sleepy and it's only half past four in the afternoon.

:D:D:D

Saturday, October 3, 2009

I'm so angry right now
and upset
and annoyed
and pissed off
and ughhhh!

Maybe moving schools is a good idea,
my friends don't bother replying on msn
the best friend makes other plans over the ones we've already made
boys are just stupid and gay and shitheads
the ones you like, never like you back

This always happens,
I get a good feeling about making a strong decision,
and then you leave me alone for a couple of hours and I get so so so insecure.

The truth is,
I don't really fit in anywhere.
I'll probably never find a group or a person who'll completely understand me.

Taylor Swift depresses me
but I can't stop listening to her.
It always seems whenever I'm down, everyone else in the world is havingthe best of times.
Fuck this I have to work tomorrow too.

No-one will go to the city with me on Monday.
Truth is the only reason I probably want to go out there is to see City Boy.
How fucking sad.

You know what else sucks,
the only reason I probably want to see him is because he gives me attention.
He told me I was the most prettiest, most cutest girl ever.
It's been a a while.

'All you've ever wanted was to wanted'

Fuck, I'm sad.
Fuck, it's probably cause I'm 'clingy'
I don't know if it would be described as that.
I like constant text messages, I like affection. I like to know I'm on someone's mind.

Pray to God,
I can stop all this miserable shit.
I want to be happy and confident. I don't want to care if boys like me or not. I want to have fun fun fun al the time. I want to meet someone who'll understand me, someone who I can click with, even if we have nothing in common.
I want it to rain and pour down so hard.
The sun shines so bright these days, so why can't I?

Maybe, I should just stop being the one who says Hi to City Boy.
Maybe, I should grace the city with my presence and hope to God he notices me and I'll take his breath away.

I feel okay, less shitty and miserable and angry.

Zach is calling me, hopefully he makes me feel better.
he's one of the funniest people I know.
so I've finished watching 'Sixteen Candles'
and the best friend has helped me realise,
City Boy isn't right.

Sure, he's perfect
but not perfect for me.

We never have anything to say,
he doesn't bother replying to texts
and doesn't even try to make a conversation.
I asked him if he wanted to see a movie at galleria
and he said, 'nahh, sounds like a fucking trek.'

Any boy who can't take the time to hang out with me,
isn't worth it.
I don't want to sound up myself or anything but yeah...
If a guy really really likes you, then they'd make an effort.

Fuck him
:)

Friday, October 2, 2009

so I spent like 2 hours waiting for him to come online,
so I could say hello and possibly tell him
I'm crushing on him.

And now he's online,
and his msn name says '....+ friends'
and now I'm too scared to say hi.
What if my dp is too uncool?
What if I say something stupid?
What if they're taking the piss out of me?

ughhhhh!
what to do?
what to do?



I JUST SAID HELLO :)
*covers eyes with hands*

omg omg omg omg
omg omg omg omg
omg omg omg omg
WHAT HAVE I DONE?

okay, I closed the msn window
I feel a little better....
note to self: Text the best friend in a few to see how her date is going

work tomorrow
hope I can city with Eleanor on Sunday,
haven't see her in a while

fingers crossed, everything goes well

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I am so stupid, so so stupid when it comes to boys I have a crush on
:/
Don't worry, you won't understand.
I feel so cheap, kind of.
No don't worry, I didn't have sex with anyone
;D

Boys are the ones who should be paying for dates,
they should be gentlemens.
Not asking girl's for money :/
I know times have changed but I can't change my opinion on this.

On a happier note, Kirstie and Alisha said they'll smack me one,
next time this happens.
Zach called the guy a cock.

Oh, Zach and Lisha spent all day sucking face and got
kicked out of many stores.
Made me laugh :D

Met city boy, he hugged me and poked my cheeks.
This afternoon he said,
'You're the most cutest, most prettiest girl ever :)'

YAY!
But he got a haircut, looked so much cuter when it was longer,
but eh he still was dreamy gorgeous.

Saw a homeless boy, was going to buy him a happy meal,
but when we walked past him the second time,
he was gone D:

Tokyo Underground has the prettiest bows now but not big enough
D:

Can't stop listening to 'Fifteen' by Taylor Swift

Why can't boys be gentlemens anymore?
Why do you do stupid things for the people you crush on?
ughhhhh
:/

I don't feel so bad anymore, it's just this weird feeling.
I don't know what it is.
It's freaking me out yet I am so calm.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

oh I forgot to say,
yesterday at work, this customer kept looking at me weird
and then after a while he came up to me and gave me his business card.

He said,
'I know this may mean nothing to you now, but you are a special person.
And you may need my help one day, so hold on to this'

.......
so confused right now,
but I'll start with yesterday.

So I was sitting in my room watching movies,
when my sister comes in with my phone saying I got a new msg
AND IT WAS CITY BOY!

and we got talking and all night I couldn't stop smiling.
He added me on Myspace and msn, but msn was a little weird?
I didn't know what to say to him and today,
nothing.

Last night, he said he wanted to hang out some time,
maybe royal show.
But today, I'm too scared to talk to him on msn,
I sent him a myspace comment this morning but nothing, no reply

WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN WITH GUYS I LIKE?
fuck me,
I'm sick of all lovey dovey couples who keep proclaiming their love for each other to me

I hope things look up,
I'm making lemon sorbet at the moment.

Friday, September 25, 2009

I'm home
and sick and very very cold
but tonight was fun

Laughed so much, my head was spinning
from stepping into Tit's water bowl to scaring year 12's with our love for them
tonight was one of the best nights

right now I am not that tired
I am too buzzed
Might watch 'Clockwork Orange' in a sec

wait...
no I'm pretty tired now
hehe
good night journal
Hopefully I get up in time for work tomorrow
HHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!
just signed onto Facebook,
the first post I saw was this loser guy, I used to have a crush on broke his leg
!!!!!
: D
I am great now
the first day of the school holidays,
I feel almost great
: D

party tonight with my best friend
rented out some inspiring movies
cleaned my room
everything feels new again and bright

I've decided it doesn't matter about city boy
things will happen eventually
now is just not the time

after I finish this blog I'm going to watch the Futurama movie
for laughs and pick an outfit for tonight
I was thinking of wearing these fake lashes I got recently
with blue feathers stuck on the ends of the lashes

Like Zach said. 'This is going to be the best 2 weeks ever'

I'll write more possibly after work tomorrow
about everything that happened at the party

<3
: D

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Facebook horoscopes are so true
I felt sick all day!

Two of my best friends have started going out with each other,
it's just not right.
I'm scared I might throw up literally if I see them kissing.

Quinny is the cutest!
When I ask Liam about how much he was selling for a stick.
Quinny spent all lesson lecturing me about how I'm going to hell and how he doesn't want me to die
naw, I love him.

Things I want:
a) circle lenses
b) to be paler
c) city boy to just even talk to me!
D :

my hair is growing and I quite like the colour I have now
I might go back to trying to look like a china doll

OH I got a new toy
: D
PANDAAAAAA!




11:11 WISH for tonight :
CITY BOY, PLEASE NOTICE ME

I know I sound sad but what can you do

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I was in the city on Sunday.
It was fun : D
Got rained on, saw the hot guy that works in Subway DC
Wasn't allowed into Burberry store

And then I met this guy
Well, not met
I've seen him a few times from a distance
Been mezmorised by how perfect he is
...from a distance
Then I finally got closer to him
And I'm not sure wha Aum said to him,
but when I came back from getting something
Him and all his friends stared at me :/

He has the most perfect skin, best legs for skinnies,
perfect hair!
He is like a god!

I don't know what to do anymore.
Aum said he has my number
but it's been 2 days, no calls, no texts, no nothing
Maybe I'm not pretty enough?
Well, I'm defs not as pretty as the scene girls he hangs out with
Everyone is finding love and crushes these days
I feel...
Well, I actually don't care about everyone else,
just that this one guy is probably laughing at me

because I'm not cool like him and his friends
because I don't have piercings like his friends do
because I don't wear tight black skinnies, have black long hair and I don't wear band tees
because I'm not breath taking beautiful as all the girls he is used to


I'm happy and confused and kind of upset, all at the same time
One thing to look forward to soon though
:D

HOLIDAYS
SPLIFFS
PARTIES
MORE CITY TIME

maybe I'll just keep away and continue being mesmorized from a distance

Saturday, September 5, 2009

I'm feeling creative today.
I've done so much sewing.
My fingers hurt from endless pricks of the needle.

I'm going to create a masterpiece :D

My ex bestfriend called today.
We're meeting up next weekend.
Hearing the sound of her voice reminds me so much of why I loved her.
My room is a mess, just art supplies everywhere.



I'm frustrated, so so frustrated.

Friday, September 4, 2009

The stars lean down to kiss you,
I lie awake and miss you.
Pour me a heavy dose of oxygen.

can't he notice me?
can't he see I'm right here?




....
She can have him,
no matter how much it's killing me inside.
I'll forget about him.
I'll try.


pocky & aloe vera always make me feel better.




ugh,
he keeps asking me about her
her her her her!
D:<

Thursday, September 3, 2009

give me something beautiful,
someone to look at everyday & still be in awe.

I have a crush.
I get so jealous.
I'm a terrible person but so is the rest of the world.
Give me love.
Give me happiness.
Give me beauty.

I ask for too much.