I am so stupid, so so stupid when it comes to boys I have a crush on
:/
Don't worry, you won't understand.
I feel so cheap, kind of.
No don't worry, I didn't have sex with anyone
;D

Boys are the ones who should be paying for dates,
they should be gentlemens.
Not asking girl's for money :/
I know times have changed but I can't change my opinion on this.

On a happier note, Kirstie and Alisha said they'll smack me one,
next time this happens.
Zach called the guy a cock.

Oh, Zach and Lisha spent all day sucking face and got
kicked out of many stores.
Made me laugh :D

Met city boy, he hugged me and poked my cheeks.
This afternoon he said,
'You're the most cutest, most prettiest girl ever :)'

YAY!
But he got a haircut, looked so much cuter when it was longer,
but eh he still was dreamy gorgeous.

Saw a homeless boy, was going to buy him a happy meal,
but when we walked past him the second time,
he was gone D:

Tokyo Underground has the prettiest bows now but not big enough
D:

Can't stop listening to 'Fifteen' by Taylor Swift

Why can't boys be gentlemens anymore?
Why do you do stupid things for the people you crush on?
ughhhhh
:/

I don't feel so bad anymore, it's just this weird feeling.
I don't know what it is.
It's freaking me out yet I am so calm.

oh I forgot to say,
yesterday at work, this customer kept looking at me weird
and then after a while he came up to me and gave me his business card.

He said,
'I know this may mean nothing to you now, but you are a special person.
And you may need my help one day, so hold on to this'

.......

so confused right now,
but I'll start with yesterday.

So I was sitting in my room watching movies,
when my sister comes in with my phone saying I got a new msg
AND IT WAS CITY BOY!

and we got talking and all night I couldn't stop smiling.
He added me on Myspace and msn, but msn was a little weird?
I didn't know what to say to him and today,
nothing.

Last night, he said he wanted to hang out some time,
maybe royal show.
But today, I'm too scared to talk to him on msn,
I sent him a myspace comment this morning but nothing, no reply

WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN WITH GUYS I LIKE?
fuck me,
I'm sick of all lovey dovey couples who keep proclaiming their love for each other to me

I hope things look up,
I'm making lemon sorbet at the moment.

I'm home
and sick and very very cold
but tonight was fun

Laughed so much, my head was spinning
from stepping into Tit's water bowl to scaring year 12's with our love for them
tonight was one of the best nights

right now I am not that tired
I am too buzzed
Might watch 'Clockwork Orange' in a sec

wait...
no I'm pretty tired now
hehe
good night journal
Hopefully I get up in time for work tomorrow

HHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!
just signed onto Facebook,
the first post I saw was this loser guy, I used to have a crush on broke his leg
!!!!!
: D
I am great now

the first day of the school holidays,
I feel almost great
: D

party tonight with my best friend
rented out some inspiring movies
cleaned my room
everything feels new again and bright

I've decided it doesn't matter about city boy
things will happen eventually
now is just not the time

after I finish this blog I'm going to watch the Futurama movie
for laughs and pick an outfit for tonight
I was thinking of wearing these fake lashes I got recently
with blue feathers stuck on the ends of the lashes

Like Zach said. 'This is going to be the best 2 weeks ever'

I'll write more possibly after work tomorrow
about everything that happened at the party

<3
: D

Facebook horoscopes are so true
I felt sick all day!

Two of my best friends have started going out with each other,
it's just not right.
I'm scared I might throw up literally if I see them kissing.

Quinny is the cutest!
When I ask Liam about how much he was selling for a stick.
Quinny spent all lesson lecturing me about how I'm going to hell and how he doesn't want me to die
naw, I love him.

Things I want:
a) circle lenses
b) to be paler
c) city boy to just even talk to me!
D :

my hair is growing and I quite like the colour I have now
I might go back to trying to look like a china doll

OH I got a new toy
: D
PANDAAAAAA!




11:11 WISH for tonight :
CITY BOY, PLEASE NOTICE ME

I know I sound sad but what can you do

I was in the city on Sunday.
It was fun : D
Got rained on, saw the hot guy that works in Subway DC
Wasn't allowed into Burberry store

And then I met this guy
Well, not met
I've seen him a few times from a distance
Been mezmorised by how perfect he is
...from a distance
Then I finally got closer to him
And I'm not sure wha Aum said to him,
but when I came back from getting something
Him and all his friends stared at me :/

He has the most perfect skin, best legs for skinnies,
perfect hair!
He is like a god!

I don't know what to do anymore.
Aum said he has my number
but it's been 2 days, no calls, no texts, no nothing
Maybe I'm not pretty enough?
Well, I'm defs not as pretty as the scene girls he hangs out with
Everyone is finding love and crushes these days
I feel...
Well, I actually don't care about everyone else,
just that this one guy is probably laughing at me

because I'm not cool like him and his friends
because I don't have piercings like his friends do
because I don't wear tight black skinnies, have black long hair and I don't wear band tees
because I'm not breath taking beautiful as all the girls he is used to


I'm happy and confused and kind of upset, all at the same time
One thing to look forward to soon though
:D

HOLIDAYS
SPLIFFS
PARTIES
MORE CITY TIME

maybe I'll just keep away and continue being mesmorized from a distance

I'm feeling creative today.
I've done so much sewing.
My fingers hurt from endless pricks of the needle.

I'm going to create a masterpiece :D

My ex bestfriend called today.
We're meeting up next weekend.
Hearing the sound of her voice reminds me so much of why I loved her.
My room is a mess, just art supplies everywhere.



I'm frustrated, so so frustrated.

The stars lean down to kiss you,
I lie awake and miss you.
Pour me a heavy dose of oxygen.

can't he notice me?
can't he see I'm right here?




....
She can have him,
no matter how much it's killing me inside.
I'll forget about him.
I'll try.


pocky & aloe vera always make me feel better.




ugh,
he keeps asking me about her
her her her her!
D:<

give me something beautiful,
someone to look at everyday & still be in awe.

I have a crush.
I get so jealous.
I'm a terrible person but so is the rest of the world.
Give me love.
Give me happiness.
Give me beauty.

I ask for too much.